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Oil Found in Zimbabwe - UK and US to Invade Next Week

3 years ago | 14375 Views


By Josef Potemkin

LONDON - England - Vast reserves of oil have been discovered in Harare close to dictator, Robert Mugabe's palace. On hearing of the wonderful news, George W Bush and Gordon Brown have despatched an invasion force to remove Mugabe from office.

Addressing congress from a televised conference recorded in the Oval room, George W Bush described the imminent threat posed by Zimbabwe's weapons of mass destruction.

"Intelligence gathered by this and other governments leaves no doubt that the Zimbabwe regime continues to possess and conceal some of the most lethal weapons ever devised," Mr Bush said in his speech.

The US president also stated that Mugabe was trying to build nuclear missiles that could hit the Western world in 45 minutes.

"We know for a fact that there are weapons there. Zimbabwe has chemical, nuclear and biological weapons, Mugabe has continued to produce them, he has existing and active military plans for the use of chemical and biological weapons, which could be activated within 45 minutes against the west,"

There are also purported to be tonnes of yellowcake uranium under Mugabe's palace situated 45 km west of Harare as well as multiple mobile missile launching sites manned by Al Qaeda members dotted around the capital.

Vice President, Dick Cheney added: "Simply stated, there is no doubt that Robert Mugabe now has weapons of mass destruction."

'Shock and Awe'

"Robert Mugabe poses an immediate threat to the United States of America. I have ordered our forces to strike decisively and with great precision. We will eliminate the imminent threat to our country and return the oil reserves to their rightful owner -- the USA."

The president's speech was received with rapturous applause and cheer from the assembled Fox News crew in the White House oval office. Fox news anchor, Bill O'Reilly was seen to wet his spandex trousers with delight at the news of another war.

'Liberation'

The Zimbabwe oil find is said to be approximately three trillion barrels worth and would supply the US with enough oil until September.

"If we invade by next week we can be drilling and pumping the oil by week two," a Halliburton employee told Fox news.

The people of Zimbabwe who have suffered for many years are said to be happy that the US has finally come round to invading them and getting rid of the vile dictator Mugabe.

Source: Dailysquib
18 Mzwazwa
Tags: Oil,Discory

Comments

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Anonymous user 3 years
nxaaa sh*t !what is this nonsense all about?
Anonymous user 3 years
tiudzeiwo vari kumusha ndimi mune .com yese
Anonymous user 3 years
This must b stale newz, if my english language servez mi ryt this article states that bush is th us president, thats history!! & who is refered to az th people of zimbabwe thina abantu singakwazi????? Yekelani ukudlala lathi hanti!!
Anonymous user 3 years
this is a bad joke
Mzwazwa 3 years
What is the use of this blog if we are not allowed to blog on anything we want? If you Bulawayo24 guys are not liking our blogs tell us. This is just a joke and I thought of sharing it with some of the bloggers that missed the story, where is the problem??

Just read between the lines, obviously this is not news, its someblog that was posted way back during Bush's era and by that time some of us did not have internet by that time so allow us to post what we thing could be interesting to us.

Anyone I guess is free to create a blog and post whatever they want
Anonymous user 3 years
this is a very stupid joke and whoever published it is equally as stupid. dont you have stories to publish? it can bring a lot of problems too, Vukani M
Anonymous user 3 years
thats so stupid i so dislike this pale devils.nxaaaa
Anonymous user 3 years
totally nonsense...
Anonymous user 3 years
this is such a stupid article that just unfortunately shows how shallow the writer can be when it comes to being creative... go jump off a short cliff!!!
Anonymous user 3 years
How can Bush and Brown comment on this when Obama and Cameron are there. Where they giving others a chance to talk during their term? Lets face reality pliz
Anonymous user 3 years
Byo24's credibility is now very questionable. Do not tell us what you think we want to hear, tell us what is actually happening. Lingasideleli singumphakathi olilandala ngokuthembeka kangaka.
Anonymous user 3 years
guyz don't act as some 'shallow brained gigolows, the sense of the article is to show how the west z using its military prowess to manipulate oil producing nations hiding b'hind nuclear ratoning & anti-terorrsm.
Anonymous user 2 years
hahahaha too funny to whoever understands this is just a joke...
Anonymous user 1 year
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Anonymous user 1 month
benzi iri riri kuposta nonsense iyi yariwana kupi , analysaiwo the coherence of this article. hazvina kana musoro .
Anonymous user 30 days
Idiot Zimbabwe will nvr b a colony again
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